Tears for the sky
It was an ordinary evening, just like any other. Well, no actually, it wasn’t. None of my evenings were ‘ordinary’ anymore. How could they be when I lived in La Antigua, Guatemala and every time I stepped outside I saw volcanoes!? My evenings were far from ordinary and yet after a few weeks they had a similarity to them and a pattern and so in a way became normal and yes, a little ordinary.
I had been feeling a little frustrated and challenged by my life here, the life I knew full well that God had called me too.
But some days were just tough, and I would question all of it, why? What for? Is it worth it?
I went up onto the rooftop to think and pray, it was always a special place for me. To just be outside and look out over La Antigua and at the volcanoes, like sentinels standing watch over their quaint little city. Black silhouettes against the backdrop of a setting sun and almost night sky.
However, this time was different. God presented me with a gift that brought tears to my eyes.
I hope I am not alone in being so moved by the beauty God paints in the sky that for a few moments I am lost to everything and all I can do is stand in His wonderful presence and weep. Please tell me that there are others out there who find the sky utterly breath-taking, completely fascinating and full of God’s glory!?
As the sun set in the icy blue sky it highlighted the edges of the dark grey clouds with an array of intense yellows, deep oranges and soft pinks. It was almost an impossible combination of colours and movement (any description falls short as do any photos).
All I could do is watch, frozen where I stood, gazing out in awe as God painted with shades and colours almost outside the realms of nature with a motion that was captivating.
This alone was beauty enough to move me to tears, this alone was a gift only God can give. Yet He had more. With God there is not just enough, there is always more!
Standing in deep contemplation, tears rolling down my cheeks, I saw an eruption of volcanic lava and a cloud of intense black ash and smoke. Fuego reminded me of his presence, and my humanity. It was not the first time, nor the last, that I had seen Fuego show off his power and strength. It was a display of his life and activity in this world. A subtle yet firm reminder that I am awfully small and weak in comparison. A volcano is a symbol of how nature is wild, unpredictable and at times deadly. But above all a display of a God whose creativity is unrivalled, who designed a world with complexity and beauty that we can only marvel at.
This gift was fleeting, it lasted only a matter of minutes, yet it was beyond priceless and will forever be unforgettable.
All of my doubts and fears were quieted in this moment and God reminded me of His presence and His deep love. His calling on my life and His desire to bless His children.
My ‘why?’ Became, ‘because I called you.’ My ‘what for?’ became ‘all for my glory.’ And my, ‘will it be worth it?’ became ‘Yes, I am worth it and so are you my child. I love you.’